My Patronus is a Merman.

What the houses lack, as specified in the book, is ART. I know, that probably goes to Ravenclaw, or at least Sarah (above it all? beneath it all? deriving pleasure or aiming to tease?) would hope so. I long to be in Ravenclaw. But I know. I know I will be a Hufflepuff. The goths, the indies, the babes... that is where we will end up, partying all night and feeling misunderstood.

Some people thrive and constantly get affirmation of their brilliance. This makes them into very strange people. Some are lovely, like our head girl- but she was once my best friend and I have never had a proper best friend since so she's special. Some are weird. Some are insecure but at the same time- hyper secure. They create their own little realities and constantly battle themselves for their beliefs. I am sadly not quite brilliant at school, but then, nor was my mother and she told me it doesn't matter. I used to spend long nights dreaming of Oxfordian spires and then I realised. I am so average. It doesn't matter but you do feel it... Just like that line in Freaks and Geeks- DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE TOLD YOU'RE STUPID AT ELEVEN YEARS OLD? WHERE DO YOU GO FROM THERE? Often how I feel about high school. But I'm just being silly.

So today I felt like myself. Reading all these American Blogs about the beginning of school has given me serious back to school vibes. The dress is thrifted- actually we call it op-shopped in NZ- and I am planning to renovate the sleeves, adding faux leather panels like thee latest Karen Walker collection. Even though I hate Karen Walker. The silhouette of the dress is not quite right for me at the moment, but I think the sleeves will help.

I seriously love this black jersey. It has fur at the shoulders and was $30 from Glassons BITCHES. The belt was a dollar from the Salvation Army and is the only belt I ever wear. I can't imagine who got rid of it.

I look very young in these photos. Which is BRILLIANT- I WANT TO BE FIFTEEN. This is my schoolbag which is totally cliched but don't care. It came from the Aro St Fair last year- where I also got my $10 Dr. Martens. Probably the best purchase of my life. The jacket is another purchase I fell in love with. It's Green Suede and SO SOFT. The Label is Jeffery Chandel. BUT BUT BUT the whole point of this outfit was my shoes...

I have sewn Dr. Marten tags on the back- cos I do faggish things like that. BUT LOOK. Tartan is my thing, and they are Tartan, and they are like- 14 hole! Black, which is my favourite although I might but a second hand pair and paint them floral- even though that too is utterly faggy. When I use the word 'fag' by the way it's just a word; probably about smoking. You know? those girls who go and fag? I don't mean homosexual. Call a spade a spade man.

Anyway. THEY WERE $50. Hard.

xx Nico