Today i began what I hope will be a lifelong ritual of doing the morning crossword. As it turns out, I am not as awful as I expected. What happens is because I read people I assume I am good at things like scrabble and crosswords. I am definitely not good at scrabble. As a result of this I naturally assumed I was bad at crosswords also, and although I'm not far wrong I'm rather proud of myself. I didn't actually do it in the morning as I was busy sleeping in and dreaming of Hotels, so I took the paper with me to school and almost got it confiscated for wondering what 5 down was out loud. This is my Art History teacher; who is under some highly mistaken misconceptions... (tautology?)... about me. She honestly believes I am an idiot. I want to tell her, my darling, I'd say, I am doing badly because I choose to. When the time comes, I will do well. It annoys me that she thinks, because of a few years and a degree, that she is an inherently smarter person than me. Perhaps she has intelligence- I can not tell- but she certainly has perception. Mind you, my only teacher who does have perception used to be a Goth and hates Harry Potter, although he's lovely- there you go.
I know I am going to miss the complaining and the witty banter with my teachers. I wish I'd savoured it. University will be SO. MUCH. BIGGER. Even here, in this Rugby obsessed country. I think, however, whatever people say, my world is still revolving around me- how can I escape that? I am not going to lose, or find myself. I will simply be. and continue to be, until, I suppose, I begin to tire of myself. Then I think I'll die. AND I WILL NOT MISS THE UNIFORM.
xx Nico
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